The Mindful Teen: Powerful Skills to Help You Handle Stress One Moment at a Time by Dzung X. Vo

Author:Dzung X. Vo
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781626250826
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2015-04-02T04:00:00+00:00

Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

When teens imagine the first scenario in the “School Cafeteria” exercise, they often notice thoughts like She must have been mad at me or Maybe she was talking about me behind my back. Their thoughts about this scenario are often negative and self-critical. When imagining the second scenario, they usually report thinking something like She must have been too busy, Maybe she’s having a bad day, or I wouldn’t take it personally. Often, their thoughts about this scenario are much less negative and more empathetic and understanding. Was this true for you?

The only real difference between the two scenarios is your mood. In both scenarios, you have very limited information about why your friend didn’t wave back to you. Yet, you make some important assumptions. Any time you are in a bad mood, you are more likely to make negative assumptions. The lesson is that the thoughts you have about any given situation are not necessarily facts. If thoughts were always true, your mood could not possibly have any bearing on your interpretation of a situation.

Let’s continue to explore the connection between your mood and your way of thinking.

Try This! Common Automatic Thoughts

Some people report that they frequently experience certain negative thoughts. For them, these negative thoughts come up automatically in many different situations. On a separate piece of paper (or just in your head), rate each of the following such thoughts (adapted with permission from Hollon and Kendall 1980) on a scale of 1 to 5 according to how much you believe that thought yourself, where 1 is “not at all” and 5 is “completely.” (If you’re feeling really stressed out, depressed, or anxious right now, skip this exercise for the time being and come back to it later.)

I am useless.

Nothing ever works out for me.

I fail at everything.

I just shouldn’t exist.

No one likes me.

I’m a loser.

People don’t understand me.

There is nothing to look forward to.

I wish I could change my life.

I’m a really bad person.

I will always feel miserable.

I disappoint everyone.

My life is a disaster.

Everyone hates me.

What’s the point?

I’m stupid.

I will never be good enough.

I can’t stand myself.

I’m a burden on all those around me.

No one would ever want to know the real me.

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